The Power of Willpower

I use to think willpower came from a magic, faraway place that was guarded by fairies in pink tutu’s. These fairies lived in the land of Pot of Gold that no one has seen or been to either. This isn’t my first rodeo at trying to lose weight. But it is my first time to really search deep within myself for truth and understanding. I started diets many times and they all ended after a short time because I had food dangling in my face that I just couldn’t withstand and I would eat it. Then the snowball effect took place.

My husband and I started watching the TV show Ruby. We cheered with her, cried with her and listened to her. She said “food is an addition”. When you eat food in the matter of not eating to live, but rather living to eat, it becomes an addiction. Most overweight people have an addition to food. I realized I had an addiction to food when we went to Subway and on the counter near the cookies, were sweet rolls. OMG! I had to have a sweet roll! But I didn’t get that sweet roll. All the way home, all I could think about was that sweet roll. I could smell it. I felt like someone who craves a cigarette or drink. I was “jonesing” for that sweet roll. Damn. That just sounds crazy even as I write it. That’s when I realized, I’m addicted to food. That revelation has helped me in my journey to know I have to set boundaries for myself. There must be portion control. Always.

I always wondered how people could lose weight and not give in to the temptations around them. I searched deep inside me for the answer. Mind over matter. When you make your mind up to do something and you are passionate about it, nothing will bring that down. Nothing can come in between that. I made my mind up to lose weight and that’s what I’m doing. Why do I want to sabotage myself? I sabotaged myself all those years by putting all that crap in my mouth. Where did it get me? What did it get me? A fat ass with high blood pressure and cholesterol medicine.

 The first day of my diet, I was at work and someone brought us 2 huge bags of assorted McDonald’s breakfast. Thirty minutes later, someone else brought in donuts. Later that afternoon, another wanted to buy us all something from Sonic. Did Michele eat anything? No. Did Michele miss out on anything? Umm…No. Did Michele even go to the break room to look through the bags to see what all was there? No. I didn’t care. There was nothing in that break room that was going to do me any good or help me to progress in my journey. I kept the promise I made to myself. Besides, why would I want to eat that then feel bad about it afterwards? Yay me!

So what I want to say is this. We all have the power within us. You just have to find it and fine tune it. And your mind must be made up that this is what you are ready to do. We all know if we aren’t ready to quit something or we are doing it for someone else, it will never work and we are setting ourselves up for failure. I always thought I was missing that magical piece, but it was inside me all along.